Here at Happy Simple Living, we are not afraid to flush out the big, pressing issues that face our nation. Which is why we have bravely plunged into the issue of mega toilet paper rolls.
Most major t.p. manufacturers now sell Colossus Mega-Jumbo Magnum rolls containing 4 TIMES!! the sheets of a regular roll. (As we all know, today’s ‘regular roll’ contains approximately 14 squares.)
Is this claim true? Do we consumers really want these fatter rolls — even though they no longer fit in the holders?
My friends, you are an intelligent bunch. When you see those packages, do you feel happy because you’re getting an even greater value in your toilet paper purchases?
Or do you feel cranky because you’re paying more bucks for fewer squares?
Sometimes I wonder if toilet paper manufacturers think our brains are full of ultra soft cotton.
This is definitely a #FirstWorldProblem, but these Hercules-sized rolls do not fit in any of our holders. Furthermore, our neighborhood grocery store has stopped selling normal rolls, and now sells only Mega-Colossus-Jumbo-Big Ole’ Honkin’-Magnum rolls.
Guaranteed To Fit
I recently purchased several packages of Quilted Northern Ultra Soft & Strong, as the company’s wood and fiber sourcing practices are certified by the Sustainable Forestry Initiative.
Sustainability was part of my decision, but the other reason was this compelling promise printed on the package:
“Guaranteed to fit your roll holder or your money back.”
Bolstered with confidence, I bought the package and breathlessly ran upstairs to install a roll. The funny thing is that there is at least an inch of space on either side of the roll, but I had to use a shoehorn to get the roll in the holder.
Once in, it would not turn. For obvious reasons, this presents a problem. As you can see, the top of the roll is wedged in the holder:
In the interest of getting a handle on this issue, I decided to take advantage of the company’s money-back guarantee.
When I visited the site, however, I was disappointed to see not an offer for cash back, but an offer for a free “Roll Extender.”
The value of the free roll extender was “$2 – $3” according to the site.
(Side note: Is it me, or does this whole Mega Roll Extender thing sound just a little naughty?)
Clearly, if I wanted to actually use my new Quilted Northern toilet paper, I would have to get their gadget. The instructions required me to write “the reason you would like a roll extender” on a piece of paper.
This is an excellent question from the Quilted Northern Quality Control team. Because, what could possibly be the reason?why a person would need an extender?
Could it be that the #%$?@&! Colossus Jumbo Mega Grande Magnum toilet paper roll doesn’t fit in the holder??
<<deep breath, deep cleansing breath, inhale peace, exhale stress, serenity now!>>
Anyhow, I dutifully assembled my proof of purchase, receipt, and required explanatory letter, and sent it off.
Then the waiting began. Nine weeks passed, with no sign of my Roll Extender. Every time I ran to the mailbox and came up empty-handed, I felt like Ralphie from The Christmas Story waiting for his Ovaltine decoder ring to arrive.
After so many disappointing daily trips to the mailbox, I wondered if the Quilted Northern people had forgotten about me and my Roll Extender.
Looking for Answers
Sometimes big brands’ social media managers seem to reply more quickly to customer service requests, so I decided to reach out and touch someone via the Quilted Northern Facebook page.
Before I sent my message, I officially “Liked” the page. The header photo features an enviable prototype toilet paper holder (probably invented by Elon Musk) that perfectly fits the Quilted Northern mega roll. Jealous!!
The moment I clicked the “Like” button, Facebook helpfully alerted all of my friends and family members about my new passion.
Feeling heady, I sent off my inquiry. Sure enough, the social media manager responded quickly. (It pays to be the Facebook fan of a t.p. company.) The note read: “Hi Eliza, thanks for contacting us. Let us reach some of our internal teams and see what we can do. We will get back to you soon!”
Woah. Not only was I getting personal service, but the INTERNAL TEAMS of Quilted Northern were getting involved. Talk about having friends in lofty places!
A few days later, the package I had been awaiting for ten weeks finally arrived with a nice letter and my very own $2-$3 value Roll Extender.
I could hardly wait to try it!
I won’t keep you in suspense any longer. The Roll Extender worked.
We could now actually turn the Mega Toilet Paper roll, thus providing that all-important access to the tissue.
The only downside? The Roll Extender is white plastic, which doesn’t match the chrome holder, and it has the Quilted Northern logo printed in the “gap” area.
With a roll in place, you see the letters “TED” and “ERN.” Whenever I see his name, I like to imagine that Ted Ern is the kindly inventor of the Roll Extender.
So the extender works, but it’s unattractive. Do we choose aesthetics or utility, my friends? This is a conundrum that has plagued mankind through the ages, from the design of stone tools and wooden teeth to Quonset huts and men’s sandals.
Miracles Do Happen
UPDATE: You’ll never guess what happened. After I wrote this post, I was contacted by the Canadian company Teravan.
Teravan manufactures an extender that’s actually attractive! You can probably imagine the swirl of excitement I felt when they offered to let me try their products. (Move over, Khloe Kardashian! There’s a new “influencer” in town.)
Teravan’s white and chrome extenders have a decidedly designer feel:
The best part of all? After installing one of Teravan’s snazzy adjustable toilet paper roll adapters, the roll actually turns! One can actually access the paper!
This is clearly a revolution — or should I say a turning point? — in modern TP history.
How About You?
Do you love or loathe this new trend? Do you long for the good old days of Double Rolls? Or do the Mega Honkin’ Extra-Grande Texas Sized Big Ole’ Boy toilet tissue rolls fit just fine in your holders?
How long will it be before a rogue manufacturer offers a roll with 5 times the sheets of a regular roll?
Also: Do you think that perhaps I need to take up a new hobby?
I’d love to hear from you, and together we’ll get to the bottom of this important tissue issue.
Your devoted TP Access Advocate,
P.S. Thanks to Miles Goodhew for being a good sport and letting us use his photo, which was taken on the day his regular glasses were being repaired, as a stand-in for Ted Ern.
As an Amazon Associate, I may earn a small commission from qualifying purchases which help offset the expenses of running this website as well as my important toilet paper research. Your prices are exactly the same whether you purchase through an affiliate link or a non-affiliate link. Thank you for your support.
Eliza Cross is the creator of Happy Simple Living, where she shares ideas to help busy people simplify cooking, gardening, holidays, home, and money. She is also the award-winning author of 17 cookbooks, including Small Bites and 101 Things To Do With Bacon.
Our house was built in 1957 and the standard size toilet paper holders worked fine until all the manufacturers began forcing the mega-size rolls. Was there REALLY any customer demand for larger rolls, was that really something that people were complaining about? More likely was to obscure price increases.
I resent that the TP manufacturers forced an unwanted change on us the customer, and now somehow, we the customer have to spend $12 per bathroom to buy an adapter to use the new size rolls that we didn’t actually want!
Spoke with the manager at the H.E.B. (TX grocery chain) about this, specifically about bringing back their house brand in double-size. He said he didn’t recall if the manager’s SKU ordering system still included double-size rolls, but if so he’d order some. Six weeks later, no double-size rolls on the shelf.
Charmin did send us ONE free spindle, and it works well. It’s just like the old ($4.50) type with a little more plastic at each end:
(https://charminspindle.aerofulfillment.com/en)
[They thought it necessary to include an instruction card.] But we have two bathrooms.
I, too, found your blog while searching for double roll toilet paper. Although the size and the rolling (or not, really) are problematic. They aren’t the tail of the problem for me. I live in a house that we constructed ourselves about 10 years ago. So, I bare some of the responsibility here. But this mega roll crap has got to go. I have a nice bottom drawer in my vanity. The regular size 4 roll packs fit perfectly in the drawer. Take a pack out of the pantry when the last roll is going, and things were just right. Then, the 4 roll packs got expelled. Little aggravated, but okay, I’ll work it out. ( I have had some issues in the rear-end department in the past, and things have been coming out just fine once I started using a certain kind of Charmin, so I cannot just roll with the flow from one brand to the other. ) Sometimes my grocery store was out of the double roll. Okay, I can order it online. BUT NOW, the only double rolls I can find are on Amazon. I thought I had finally come to the end. Gave up, got the Mega Roll. It is twice as big all right, won’t fit in my nice drawer, nope, won’t roll until about half of it’s gone, hmm-mmm. But here’s the bottom line, twice as big, half as soft and fluffy. I feel like I’m at the gas station! So, back to Amazon I go, ready to click the “order now” button. Butt wait! If you want to be like the bears in TV, you gotta pay $30.00 for the pack that cost $17.00 last month! And If I read the toilet water right, when that is gone, it’s gonna be a pain in the ass! Come on Charmin (and everybody else for that matter), why can’t you help the folks on the bottom to use the paper they want? Eliza, this is definitely a call for a senate investigation. Does anybody know Robert Mueller?
This rant is just what I was looking for, so that I know I am not alone. The mega rolls look awful in friends bathrooms I have been in, but I had no idea that I would soon not be able to find double rolls anymore in my preferred brands. The ground has shifted under my feet! I did not know this mega roll stuff had been going on for so long. So we must take this problem to the manufacturers right now.
Start the Blitz of emails directly to all the manufacturers you can think of and let your grocery stores know how disappointed you are in their inventory. As soon as one manufacturer resumes the double rolls, let everyone know on all the media you can access. That manufacturer will be rewarded.
I agree with everyone it is frustrating buying toilet paper in the super sized packages. My bathroom has a ceramic holder. Charmin did send me their extender, but unfortunately it does not work with my t.p. holder. With all the descriptions on the packages it is so hard to know which will fit. I have had to remove some of paper from roll to be able to install on holder.
Your post was just what I was looking for today — a good laugh about a shared frustration.My days are now filled with searching for stores that carry my sought-after double rolls of Quilted Northern (yay, Jewel-Osco!). When I can’t find that size and have to resort to Mega, my kids wind up leaving a roll of toilet paper on the floor (um, yuck…). With the width changes (narrower rolls), I’ll bet we can look forward to rolls that look like old-fashioned cash register tape!
Not only are rolls larger, but the paper is more compressed and scratchy.
Years ago Charmin had 500 5×5 inch sheets per roll. Four rolls cost about 89 cents.
Now the sheets are smaller and less per roll but they increased the circumference of the cardboard roller to make the roll look fuller than it is.
I agree, flush the mega rolls and bring back the double rolls. I bought up all the double rolls I could find. Guess I will check at Trader Joe’s for double rolls. I did write to Charmin, Quilted Northern and Cottonelle. Told them my home is a residence, not a commercial building. Mega rolls don’t fit and look terrible.
Recently I received two (2) extenders for use with their Mega Rolls. They came without any writing on them, only an embossed logo that is the same white color as the spindle. The only problem I have is that they STILL do not fit into my dispensers. The spindle ends are 1/2 inch in diameter, while the holes in my dispensers are 1/4 inch in diameter. They are too big, and I cannot use them.
There is a MEGA conspiracy among the toilet paper manufacturers and my search for double rolls had to come to an end. Recently I was forced to purchase mega rolls of Charmin since Sears stopped no longer publish a Sears catalog and my other options were depleted. And of course, the new rolls don’t fit the dispenser. So I put the rolls on the back of the toilets and waited for the comments from my family. And there were many! I knew I had to do something urgently when my mother told me she was sitting on the toilet rolling toilet paper onto another empty cylinder to make smaller roles to fit the dispenser in her bathroom. So action was needed immediately to solve the dispenser issue. I did not want the advertised cheap roll dispensers that take 6 weeks to get from the manufacturer. So went on Amazon and found Teravan Standard extenders for large rolls. They were pricey at $19.95 for 2 dispensers in a pack, but worth the price if they restored family harmony. Got within 2 days and installed this weekend. If you don’t mind the price they work beautifully. I got the silver option instead of white. They blend in with the existing chrome bathroom dispenser so the modification is not an eyesore. And peace (or our family version) has been restored.
can I just say how much I HATE THEM? Are we all supposed to remodel our bathrooms to make the toilet paper companies happy?? It drives me NUTS. I have a beautiful holder that holds 4 extra rolls and they don’t fit. I have a matching and equally beautiful fixtures that include a NORMAL toilet paper holder.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM??
I have 3 bathrooms,1(mine) has been remodeled and accepts easily the Mega roll. The other 2 rooms forget it. Since my wife passed away and I now do the shopping this non compliant roll thing was driving me crazy as I can’t find normal rolls anymore. So my solution, use the Mega roll in the bathroom that works and when down to normal size pull it, store it for the other 2 rooms. I too don’t want to use those ugly plastic extenders. Not the best solution but it does work for me.
I can see this post is still mighty relevant. Thank you Eliza. I was stuck with a huge package of mega rolls from Costco when I discovered the problem. No way they fit into the 1940 built-in TP holder. I even bought a chrome TP stand to store and dispense rolls and the rolls didn’t fit in that either. So now I search for smaller rolls. The only brand I can find at Costco that is small shreds like crazy and everyone hates it. The only solution with the mega rolls is to put them on the back of the tank and try to use up about a quarter of the paper, THEN install it. Or throw away the outer layers. Great economy, right? I even had my entire bathroom remodeled last year and am STILL dealing with this issue, can you believe it? I was excited to order a somewhat glamorous chrome safety grip that doubled as a TP holder. (Yes, sneaking in the elder aids even though I’m not elderly YET). And even THAT was too small. Can’t believe the manufacturers are still trying to pawn off their fancy safety bars (leftover stock?) that DON’T EVEN WORK with today’s rolls. I had to spend $25,000 to find this out? Pardon me for my ignorance, but what is a double roll? Something bigger than a standard roll but not as a big as a mega roll?
Hilarious post! Very true. I read it while doing my business (don’t worry, I always wipe my phone with a disinfecting wipe afterwards). I was rotflmao while reading it!! Thank you for this.
Target only has mega rolls and we live in a 1956 house, so our toilet paper holder is only so big. So the roll sits on the counter until we have used enough if it and then it goes on the holder. I don’t like it. I see a trip to menards or Home Depot in my future to see what is available. I’m not sure I want a branded extender.
Ugh, I just came back from going out to several stores in search of even a triple roll….no luck. Every single roll of toilet paper in each of the big box stores I went into was a MEGA-MEGA-MEGA roll. Seriously, how many people have these huge toilet roll holders in their homes? I HATE it.
Hate it hate it hate it.
Now looking for new toilet paper holders, the ones we bought were expensive (nice wooden looking and copper looking). Let’s create an online petition. You are amazing.
Light bulbs, toilet paper, what’s next?! Thanks for the article. Good to know it’s not just me.
Typical our stores locally have ceased carrying the small rolls.
Eliza,
My sister and I laughed till we had tears in our eyes. Your letter was so hilarious, it was just what I needed. But I am also upset at the change to mega rolls. The extender does not fit my current holder. I wish they would bring back the regular size. I have a built in holder and a holder that is on the side of the vanity. I can not remove the one on the vanity without damage. I might have to purchase a stand type holder. Not happy.
I actually found your site while googling “I hate mega and super mega toilet paper rolls” to find out if there was a support group for Mega Roll Haters like me. I did this shortly after going to Amazon to see if I could order Double Rolls in bulk since I had already been to a dozen stores and none of them had anything smaller than the Mega size. I think it is a plot by the manufacturers to get us to use more toilet paper, because I find myself using more and more just so I can get the roll smaller so it will fit on my holder. I am relieved to know there are others out there that feel the loathing for these enormous rolls of toilet paper that are the circumference of a roll of paper towel.
I have cats, so the use of a regular toilet holder went out years ago. In it’s place I got a couple of pretty toilet paper boxes to put them in. When we went to double wide I was still ok and then some. When they came out with the Mega rolls they would not fit in the box. So about the 3-4 uses the roll is in a see thru bagee, and then I can go back to my safe, decorator boxes. I’ve tried a couple of times to find a box that will accommodate the mega rolls. When I get back from my grocery shopping trip today, I’ll try again. This is cruel and unusual punishment to not provide a fix for something as simple as a toilet paper holder. Now we sort of have a fix but look how long it took. To the toilet paper people, BAH HUMBUG. May you find a similar crummy problem of your own in your Christmas stocking and anywhere else it will go.
Thank you Eliza!
Every time I purchased toilet paper I got irritated. I wanted smaller rolls, but cushy paper to fit my 1940’s recessed toilet paper holder. Thanks to you, my daily life is better. How many people can say that?
I feel better that I’m not the only one with this problem. The smallest rolls I can find anywhere are MEGA and beyond. Double rolls are perfect (if not just a little snug at first) for my toilet paper holders and I figured I would get around the issue by buying them online. So, I ordered 48 double rolls (probably at least a year’s supply for a single guy). The supplier, in all their wisdom, decided to send me 32 JUMBO rolls!!! On a positive note, this actually amounted to about 800 more sheets of toilet paper than I ordered (at the same price), but… ARGH! So, I guess I will be forced to look out for one of these extenders as well (hopefully, they make extenders that are big enough for JUMBO!).
I hate the mega rolls bc they don’t don’t the holders in most homes. Bring back the large rolls and flush the mega.
100% agree with you – GREAT blog. We’re looking for a new dispenser for our remodeled bathroom, and realize this has to be a consideration. People DO realize, don’t they, that this is all about cost savings for the manufacturer, and NOTHING to do with consumer convenience??? The extender detracts from the look of recessed tp holders. I’m hoping I can find one that is actually BUILT to accommodate the HUGE, INCONVENIENT MEGA rolls!
I could make a longer and valid rant. But I will just say I hate it and hate them for pushing it as only option, can’t find jumbo rolls. The extenders are shitty mod to try to address a problem THEY CREATED. They are a shitty, weaker mod to permanent built in holders. The extenders are likely to break given their geometry. They don’t hold the roll in the center of what is often a curved back to the holder, so it rubs on the bottom edge.
I think I found a solution for our house. One bathroom has a dispenser that mega rolls fit on, the other bathroom doesn’t. I use the mega room until the roll gets down to a manageable size, then move it to the smaller dispenser and install a new mega on the super dispenser. The wife uses the smaller room. Now we just have to use at similar rates…
New pastime: winding excess tp into a saved tube. Perhaps I’ll modify some old film rewinds for the purpose
Now they’re selling SUPER MEGA rolls that are even bigger than mega rolls. Do they fit into the extenders, I wonder?