Let’s Rant About Mega Toilet Paper Rolls

mega toilet paper

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Dear friends,

Here at Happy Simple Living, we are not afraid to flush out the big, pressing issues that face our nation. Which is why we have bravely plunged into the issue of mega toilet paper rolls.

Most major t.p. manufacturers now sell Colossus Mega-Jumbo Magnum rolls containing 4 TIMES!! the sheets of a regular roll. (As we all know, today’s ‘regular roll’ contains approximately 14 squares.)

Is this claim true? Do we consumers really want these fatter rolls — even though they no longer fit in the holders?

My friends, you are an intelligent bunch. When you see those packages, do you feel happy because you’re getting an even greater value in your toilet paper purchases?

Or do you feel cranky because you’re paying more bucks for fewer squares?

Sometimes I wonder if toilet paper manufacturers think our brains are full of ultra soft cotton.

cotton headed ninny

This is definitely a #FirstWorldProblem, but these Hercules-sized rolls do not fit in any of our holders. Furthermore, our neighborhood grocery store has stopped selling normal rolls, and now sells only Mega-Colossus-Jumbo-Big Ole’ Honkin’-Magnum rolls.

Guaranteed To Fit

I recently purchased several packages of Quilted Northern Ultra Soft & Strong, as the company’s wood and fiber sourcing practices are certified by the Sustainable Forestry Initiative.

Sustainability was part of my decision, but the other reason was this compelling promise printed on the package:

“Guaranteed to fit your roll holder or your money back.”

Bolstered with confidence, I bought the package and breathlessly ran upstairs to install a roll. The funny thing is that there is at least an inch of space on either side of the roll, but I had to use a shoehorn to get the roll in the holder.

Once in, it would not turn. For obvious reasons, this presents a problem. As you can see, the top of the roll is wedged in the holder:

Mega toilet paper roll

In the interest of getting a handle on this issue, I decided to take advantage of the company’s money-back guarantee.

When I visited the site, however, I was disappointed to see not an offer for cash back, but an offer for a free “Roll Extender.”

Quilted Northern Roll Extender Offer | Happy Simple Living blog

The value of the free roll extender was “$2 – $3” according to the site.

(Side note: Is it me, or does this whole Mega Roll Extender thing sound just a little naughty?)

Quilted Northern roll extender

Clearly, if I wanted to actually use my new Quilted Northern toilet paper, I would have to get their gadget. The instructions required me to write “the reason you would like a roll extender” on a piece of paper.

This is an excellent question from the Quilted Northern Quality Control team. Because, what could possibly be the reason?why a person would need an extender?

Could it be that the #%$?@&! Colossus Jumbo Mega Grande Magnum toilet paper roll doesn’t fit in the holder??

<<deep breath, deep cleansing breath, inhale peace, exhale stress, serenity now!>>

Anyhow, I dutifully assembled my proof of purchase, receipt, and required explanatory letter, and sent it off.

Letter to Quilted Northern

Then the waiting began. Nine weeks passed, with no sign of my Roll Extender. Every time I ran to the mailbox and came up empty-handed, I felt like Ralphie from The Christmas Story waiting for his Ovaltine decoder ring to arrive.

After so many disappointing daily trips to the mailbox, I wondered if the Quilted Northern people had forgotten about me and my Roll Extender.

Looking for Answers

Sometimes big brands’ social media managers seem to reply more quickly to customer service requests, so I decided to reach out and touch someone via the Quilted Northern Facebook page.

Before I sent my message, I officially “Liked” the page. The header photo features an enviable prototype toilet paper holder (probably invented by Elon Musk) that perfectly fits the Quilted Northern mega roll. Jealous!!

quilted northern Facebook page

The moment I clicked the “Like” button, Facebook helpfully alerted all of my friends and family members about my new passion.

Parody Facebook toilet paper page

Feeling heady, I sent off my inquiry. Sure enough, the social media manager responded quickly. (It pays to be the Facebook fan of a t.p. company.) The note read: “Hi Eliza, thanks for contacting us. Let us reach some of our internal teams and see what we can do. We will get back to you soon!”

Woah. Not only was I getting personal service, but the INTERNAL TEAMS of Quilted Northern were getting involved. Talk about having friends in lofty places!

A few days later, the package I had been awaiting for ten weeks finally arrived with a nice letter and my very own $2-$3 value Roll Extender.

Letter from Quilted Northern

I could hardly wait to try it!

I won’t keep you in suspense any longer. The Roll Extender worked.

Toilet paper roll extender

We could now actually turn the Mega Toilet Paper roll, thus providing that all-important access to the tissue.

The only downside? The Roll Extender is white plastic, which doesn’t match the chrome holder, and it has the Quilted Northern logo printed in the “gap” area.

With a roll in place, you see the letters “TED” and “ERN.” Whenever I see his name, I like to imagine that Ted Ern is the kindly inventor of the Roll Extender.

photo of Ted Ern
Theodore “Ted” Ern, Gadget Inventor

So the extender works, but it’s unattractive. Do we choose aesthetics or utility, my friends? This is a conundrum that has plagued mankind through the ages, from the design of stone tools and wooden teeth to Quonset huts and men’s sandals.

Miracles Do Happen

UPDATE: You’ll never guess what happened. After I wrote this post, I was contacted by the Canadian company Teravan.

Teravan manufactures an extender that’s actually attractive! You can probably imagine the swirl of excitement I felt when they offered to let me try their products. (Move over, Khloe Kardashian! There’s a new “influencer” in town.)

Teravan’s white and chrome extenders have a decided designer feel:

Taravan extender

The best part of all? After installing one of Teravan’s snazzy adjustable toilet paper roll adapters, the roll actually turns! One can actually access the paper!

This is clearly a revolution — or should I say a turning point? — in modern TP history.

Mega toilet paper extender

 

How About You?

Do you love or loathe this new trend? Do you long for the good old days of Double Rolls? Or do the Mega Honkin’ Extra-Grande Texas Sized Big Ole’ Boy toilet tissue rolls fit just fine in your holders?

How long will it be before a rogue manufacturer offers a roll with 5 times the sheets of a regular roll?

Also: Do you think that perhaps I need to take up a new hobby?

I’d love to hear from you, and together we’ll get to the bottom of this important tissue issue.

Your devoted TP Access Advocate,

The signature for Eliza Cross

P.S. If you enjoy this topic, you might also enjoy “A Funny Little Toilet Paper Tip.”

P.P.S. Thanks to Miles Goodhew for being a good sport and letting us use his photo, which was taken on the day his regular glasses were being repaired, as a stand-in for Ted Ern.

About Eliza Cross

Eliza Cross is a full-time writer and the author of 15 books about food and home design. She has been blogging about simplicity and sustainable living since 2006.

98 thoughts on “Let’s Rant About Mega Toilet Paper Rolls”

  1. I think it is important that you voice your opinion to manufacturers. I’m sure someone thought of aesthetics, but decided it might cost them too much to offer something different or options. So many companies do the “new and improved” to only have smaller packaging so they can keep the same retail price, but they are selling a smaller amount. And as far as “new and improved,” well how many different ways is there to pluck that chicken?

    Reply
    • I LOATHE them!

      I have brought this up to the manufacturer because I can’t find regular toilet paper anywhere any more. Their response was basically ‘I don’t know what your talking about because we still sell them’. Oh really? Then why can’t I find them anywhere. Even when I do a search on two ply toilet paper I’m inundated with “mega rolls!”

      I HATE these stupid rolls. No, I’m not gong to buy a cheesy extender because my toilet paper holder doesn’t even work with one, the roll slides on, and it angers me that I’m being forced into it.

      I guess everyone should remodel their bathroom because of the toilet paper industry? Will manufacturers of bathroom hardware will have to retool their machinery for them too? It’s RIDICULOUS!

      Honestly, I wouldn’t care if they gave me a choice, but they don’t. I would buy my regular roles and ignore the stupid mega rolls, but I can’t find them and am being forced to use a product that doesn’t work and it’s infuriating.

      And what about those God awful jumbo rolls they now have? They show them on stands because there is no extender or appliance that can hold them. That is unless your bathroom has the decor of a public bathroom in a gas station. I’m sorry, but I don’t want the most prominent feature in my bathroom to be a roll of toilet paper. Call me crazy.

      I’m convinced a man came up with these “amazing” toilet paper ideas because apparently changing a toilet paper roll is far too taxing for most men (so they leave it barren) plus it sounds like it was named by the guy who came up with “monster trucks”.

      But hey! I only have to change the roll twice instead of 3 times! That is if I could get the roll to turn without shredding. TRULY GENIUS! It’s right up there with the banana cutter. Another exhausting activity we’ve been spared from.

      Reply
  2. It bothers me even more to know that I have to pay a lot more for that certain kind of toilet paper that doesn’t hurt the bare necessities. A catalog was used years ago, I know I should feel blessed. I think the manufacturers should at least meet a standard softness scale or softness rating! And if they feel they need to slim the roll from being two inches wider and two inches taller, I will happily set it on the floor.

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  3. You crack me up! As a person who is too cheap to buy anything but store brand toilet paper, I have yet to encounter the mega-roll phenomenon. My most recent TP crisis was that I accidentally grabbed what looked like a great deal, only to discover that I had inadvertently come home with a 12 pack of SINGLE ply toilet paper! The horror!

    Anyhow, the extender does look a bit cheezy – I’ve never used the stuff, but I think they make special spray paint designed to be used on plastic. Maybe there’s a silver color? Probably defeats the purpose of saving by buying the mega rolls though…

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  4. I buy the mega rolls of Charmin Ultra Stong if it is a good value. I don’t just automatically by bigger rolls. I always compare the prices. B/c prices change, sometimes the bigger rolls are currently a better deal, and sometimes the regular rolls are a better deal. I have never had a problem with toilet paper rolls of any size fitting the toilet paper holder (ceramic in the tile wall that’s been there at least 40 years).

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  5. I cannot agree with you more. The roll sizes have gotten out of hand! I can’t even find a paper reserve tower that will accommodate the new 4=1 mega rolls. The world of toilet paper was perfect as the triple roll. I can’t find the 3:1 anywhere. The industry decision to push to the 4:1 size is just poo poo!!!

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  6. Since i’ve been stealing all of my toilet paper from gas stations and office buildings for years i hardly noticed the change in grocer stock. Upon inspection the “mega rolls” dont seem all that big to me. They barely take up space on top of my purloined 2’x2’paper discuss. Stop wasting your time buying toilet paper monthly, and see what it’s like to “shop” for TP anually for a household of 6.

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  7. Ok. I don’t care who you are that was funny and informative! You are good at addressing a problem with humor MS Cross and I laughed all through it and got angry at the TP Manufacturers as well! Are we able to purchase these roll extenders in the box stores? or do we have do subject ourselves to the naked light bulb questionnaire like as you had to do? Thanks for taking them to task!

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  8. And I thought it was only me having trouble turning the toilet paper. We are currently remodeling our master bath and there was quite a “to do” last night putting together the new toilet paper holder and holding it by hand against a wall while have a new roll inserted to see if it would turn. Seems like it might work. So maybe the new ones are bigger and this one isn’t recessed. But I am a little disappointed by the fact that you just dropped the ball when mentioning that the roll is no longer as wide as it used to be. I’ve noticed that too, and it drives me crazy. All of that wasted space on the sides, and it’s overflowing against the wall. Oh well.

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  9. You got it just right. We just installed beautiful new tile in our bathroom and cannot find a tile toilet paper dispenser that will hold these monster toilet paper rolls. My wife bought some larger metal dispensers, but they will look stupid on the beautiful tile wall, so I am looking for an alternative. Donald Marsden

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  10. I literally just heard a new advertisement – Charmin will now be selling a “Super Mega Roll”. Supposedly it’s 6 rolls in one! I’ve always hated the “mega” rolls, and this put it over the top for me. That’s actually how I found this little blog of yours – well done. But hopefully they can get their paper under control, because how much bigger can they get? Soon we’ll be buying toilet paper the size of full tires!

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    • Chandra, I laughed so hard at your description of a tire-sized roll of toilet paper. Thank you for the important update. I just shared it on Facebook to see what our readers think. When will the supersizing end?

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    • Chandra.. You are very funny. I just today realized that I can not buy anymore regular size of toilet paper and looking for a solution to my problem, I also found this blog. Read your writings and got a big laugh… Which of course is much better than crying…

      Reply
  11. Was wondering about pricing and did the math on Super Ultra Charmin vs. Charmin Mega. Turns out the Mega is cheaper per sheet. Counterintuitive and sneaky on Charmin’s part. But it does fit our dispensers nicely.

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    • Shellye, I LOVE that you did the math! It’s a comfort to know that even though the rolls don’t fit in many holders, the cost really is a little better. Thank you!

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  12. I HATE Mega Rolls. I HATE extenders, and my current really nice toilet paper holder really looks nice and it rotates up so it’s easier to change rolls but as far as I know there isn’t an “extender” to fit it; plus if there is one it would ruin my aesthetically designed toilet paper holder. I refuse to “go Mega” and I’ll pay the price; that is if they keep making double rolls.

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  13. Glad to know I am not alone in hating the Mega Rolls. And most stores in my area, only sell Mega or Mega Plus! Two of our bathrooms have a free standing toilet paper holder that holds 3 spare rolls and the hanging roll at the top. There is no adapter that will make those spare rolls fit in the spot for the extras.

    Reply
    • Thank you!! This has annoyed me to no end! I too have wondered why on earth anyone needs toilet paper rolls the size of a tire! To my knowledge must homes do not offer a public restroom to the community. Why do we need industrial size rolls? Up until about a month ago double rolls were still available. Those are actually preferable. Now mega is the only option. Why can’t they still make both?!! Just give us a choice!

      Reply
  14. So, it is now 2018 and TP rolls have grown even larger. Has anyone found a standard size roll of nice toilet paper that will still fit in regular toilet paper holders?

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  15. What fun….in the meantime has anyone located a “replacement” toilet-paper, recessed holder that will work? I would put such a device in new homes that are built under my direction and would buy one for my own home.

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  16. I laughed, but not too long, because I have #2 problem (not what you think). I got my “free extender” from Charmin. I too thought wow they forgot me..Not so. They said 2 to 3 weeks and it arrived in 3. I was so happy.
    I just moved to a 1930’s home with the original ceramic tile insert for the TP. I too scraped and pinched and socked the big rolls into rolling action, which never worked. I found tiny paper. Just as expensive, but didn’t have to waste half the roll to fit, except I practically use a roll a day. What did we do before these ginormous rolls came into existence? How did I survive?
    I too ran to my bathroom with my new Charmin Extender (and in case you have been in seclusion since birth, a card with installation instructions). AND, the ends don’t fit into my ceramic 1930’s, half the size, recessed holes. Sigh…
    I am now going to wait the umpteen weeks IF Northern still offers their extender. Mine has flat hard plastic ends. There are no McGyver adjustment capabilities. I tried. Northern looks like they are rounded. Maybe they will slightly fit into these tiny holes.
    So thank you. Had my laugh for the day. Well actually the second one, after seeing some videos of some really crazy DIYers solving the problem.
    P.S. Spray paint, my go to logo cover.

    Reply
  17. Judith, December 26, 2018

    What about other brands of toilet paper? Are there no brands that are equally soft but not so enormous? I just hate the mega rolls which cannot be crammed in the inset wall holders in my 1947 era house. Who dreamed up this “innovation”?

    Thanks Eliza for your comments and creating this TP forum!

    Reply
  18. Ha, just found your blog looking for a solution to my Mega problem. Your blog and readers’ comments are a great comic relief to way too much serious thinking on my part. My final solution to the Charmin Mega Roll Extender was to epoxy a 3/8″ diameter by 1/4″ long nylon spacer to each end of the extender. We’ll see if this brings a modicum of happiness back into our home. Now, we can get back to the “over or under” debate – really serious stuff! (Although, I believe Federal Law is on my side. With so many Federal statutes at least one has to address toilet paper!)

    Reply
    • HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I have to publicly admit that I actually researched the over/under and the patent says over. Hotel studies say over because people use less. So, for us(and any bathrooms belonging to friends and family,) over it is!! Unless you have cats…then it’s under to defeat their spinning proclivity!!

      Reply
  19. HAS NO ONE ENCOUNTERED THE PROBLEM OF OVERSIZE ROLLS THAT THAT BEGIN TO UNFURL BY THEM SELVES AS SOON AS THEY ARE INSERTED IN THE EXTENDER? All of my home and office toilets now feature these “Toilet Paper TAILS!”

    Am I the only person in the US that is experiencing this?

    TELL ME THE TRUTH! Am I the butt (no intended pun) of a vast conspiracy?

    Reply
  20. Eliza, I am so happy I found you, although I’m late to the party. I’ve been ranting for days, since my local supermarket just phased out normal and double sized rolls for the Mega and bigger rolls. I called Raley’s corporate, and was told by a “lovely” customer service rep, that there must be something wrong with my toilet paper holders, since I am the only person having a problem…Oh, really?!. My annoyed response: don’t give me your corporate line of BS, let me speak with a manager/supervisor. Like your long wait for your holder, I am still waiting for a call back. I have concluded that manufacturers are totally ignorant, incompetent, and highly manipulative. No worries about annoying and inconveniencing their paying customers….And the stores that carry this “new and better” don’t give a hoot, either, for their customers. If the stores really listened, they could make a difference with the manufactures (at least one would hope so).

    So thanks for the laughs, the information, and a place to vent. Not that anyone who could do anything about this matter would ever pay attention. I may save my brown paper insides of the double rolls I still have, and then roll my own. Isn’t that how cigarettes were made in the good old days?

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  21. Better than the corn cobs of my grandma’s day! This is DEFINITELY a First World problem!
    In my recently purchased newer home, I inherited a newfangled open-ended holder that will accommodate ANY size roll (I know, eat your hearts out). The problem is that the space for the toilet was designed for very thin or very tiny people. I am definitely NOT in either category so my wide carriage butts (no pun intended) up against the TP roll, either knocking it off behind the toilet or attaching itself to my bathrobe to unwind behind me as I walk. Usually I only have a trail of Soft and Strong about 25 ft. into the bedroom but once I got all the way to the kitchen 3 rooms away! That’s a LOT of expensive toilet paper to toss or re-roll. Thanks to all of you for the laughs

    Reply
    • Toni, we have a tiny bathroom, too! Bathrooms were just built smaller back in the old days. Your description of your TP antics made me laugh so hard! Thank you for sharing your experiences. 🙂

      Reply
  22. I hate the mega rolls! I now have to search for double rolls. Some idiot came up with this to save the manufacture less cardboard. So they roll more paper on one cardboard tube not realizing that not everyone doesn’t have a dispenser to hold these mega beasts! Bigger is not always better!

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  23. White-out would get rid of the letters. Or if you don’t have any, scotch tape over a piece of paper? I can’t believe they did that. So dumb.

    I hate that my Target now only has these monstrosities. I looked into another brand’s guaranteed fit, and I would have had to give them permission to use my info in order to get my money back. I’m sure I could have rescinded it later, but by then I’d be on a bunch of lists. No thanks. Just let me and my wall holder from decades ago use the old double rolls, please.

    Reply
    • Ahhhh….for the good old days of Double Rolls, right? We didn’t know how good we had it back then! Thanks for sharing your experiences and I hope you find a roll that fits.

      Reply
    • Thank you!! This has annoyed me to no end! I too have wondered why on earth anyone needs toilet paper rolls the size of a tire! To my knowledge must homes do not offer a public restroom to the community. Why do we need industrial size rolls? Up until about a month ago double rolls were still available. Those are actually preferable. Now mega is the only option. Why can’t they still make both?!! Just give us a choice!

      Reply
  24. Ha!! Well my panties are in a bunch, my in-wall dispenser is empty, and the only-available-Mega-rolls are in a basket. Two hands required now…time to put my head between my 70 yr old knees and KMAGB? OR go back to Mullen leaves. And so it goes…

    Reply
    • Dennis, your comment about using leaves made me laugh! Hopefully a manufacturer will decide to have mercy on us and manufacture a nice roll that fits the holder so we don’t have to go to that extreme. 🙂

      Reply
  25. Reading all these comments has made my day and now I don’t feel alone! I live in a house that is 15 years old and had not noticed the problem with the mega rolls. HOWEVER, my daughter – in her 20 year old house and two small children – has the mega-roll problem and I (foolishly) told her to get some “extenders”. Knowing that she’d never have time, I went home and took two toilet paper holders from my house and put them in her house (that’s what mothers do… they give up everything for their kids and grandkids). I ordered two new extenders from Charmin – only to discover that they do not fit!!!! I looked at the 3rd bathroom and the toilet paper extender in there says “Charmin” on it – but the NEW ones that Charmin is sending out do not fit! So, at one time (15 years ago?) Charmin made extenders that did fit all of the older homes! Of course I’d be a really horrible person if I took back my “old house fitting” TP extenders from my daughter!

    Reply
  26. Eliza, thank you for the link! However, it’s the story of my life that I’m always a day late and a dollar short. As luck would have it, I was shopping June 6th at our local Publix (Florida grocery chain – I live near Orlando) and as I walked down the TP aisle I looked at the TP holders (as I have for the past 3 weeks) and saw the same old ones that don’t fit. Then, at the end of the aisle, I spotted some hanging all by themselves and wondered why they weren’t with the others. I grabbed one and realized I had hit the jackpot. Even better was the price of $2.99. Once gettiing home I left the ice cream melting on the counter while I ran to the bathroom to try the TP holder — AND IT WORKED!!!! So please consider this a public service announcement …. IF you live in a state with a Publix, you might find the right size – but look closely. The TP holder was made by Brite Concepts (www.brite-concepts.com). I didn’t see any of these on their website but you could always contact them. My family thinks I’m obsessed and crazy – but I know you all understand!

    Reply
  27. If they want to make mega rolls then make the center tube smaller so the outside diameter stays the same. Then they would still fit existing holders! Come on TP manufacturers use the brains you should have (since you are still in business) it is easier to change your tube size than to expect all of us to get new TP holders.

    Reply
  28. Our house was built in 1957 and the standard size toilet paper holders worked fine until all the manufacturers began forcing the mega-size rolls. Was there REALLY any customer demand for larger rolls, was that really something that people were complaining about? More likely was to obscure price increases.

    I resent that the TP manufacturers forced an unwanted change on us the customer, and now somehow, we the customer have to spend $12 per bathroom to buy an adapter to use the new size rolls that we didn’t actually want!

    Spoke with the manager at the H.E.B. (TX grocery chain) about this, specifically about bringing back their house brand in double-size. He said he didn’t recall if the manager’s SKU ordering system still included double-size rolls, but if so he’d order some. Six weeks later, no double-size rolls on the shelf.

    Charmin did send us ONE free spindle, and it works well. It’s just like the old ($4.50) type with a little more plastic at each end:
    (https://charminspindle.aerofulfillment.com/en)
    [They thought it necessary to include an instruction card.] But we have two bathrooms.

    Reply
  29. I, too, found your blog while searching for double roll toilet paper. Although the size and the rolling (or not, really) are problematic. They aren’t the tail of the problem for me. I live in a house that we constructed ourselves about 10 years ago. So, I bare some of the responsibility here. But this mega roll crap has got to go. I have a nice bottom drawer in my vanity. The regular size 4 roll packs fit perfectly in the drawer. Take a pack out of the pantry when the last roll is going, and things were just right. Then, the 4 roll packs got expelled. Little aggravated, but okay, I’ll work it out. ( I have had some issues in the rear-end department in the past, and things have been coming out just fine once I started using a certain kind of Charmin, so I cannot just roll with the flow from one brand to the other. ) Sometimes my grocery store was out of the double roll. Okay, I can order it online. BUT NOW, the only double rolls I can find are on Amazon. I thought I had finally come to the end. Gave up, got the Mega Roll. It is twice as big all right, won’t fit in my nice drawer, nope, won’t roll until about half of it’s gone, hmm-mmm. But here’s the bottom line, twice as big, half as soft and fluffy. I feel like I’m at the gas station! So, back to Amazon I go, ready to click the “order now” button. Butt wait! If you want to be like the bears in TV, you gotta pay $30.00 for the pack that cost $17.00 last month! And If I read the toilet water right, when that is gone, it’s gonna be a pain in the ass! Come on Charmin (and everybody else for that matter), why can’t you help the folks on the bottom to use the paper they want? Eliza, this is definitely a call for a senate investigation. Does anybody know Robert Mueller?

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  30. This rant is just what I was looking for, so that I know I am not alone. The mega rolls look awful in friends bathrooms I have been in, but I had no idea that I would soon not be able to find double rolls anymore in my preferred brands. The ground has shifted under my feet! I did not know this mega roll stuff had been going on for so long. So we must take this problem to the manufacturers right now.
    Start the Blitz of emails directly to all the manufacturers you can think of and let your grocery stores know how disappointed you are in their inventory. As soon as one manufacturer resumes the double rolls, let everyone know on all the media you can access. That manufacturer will be rewarded.

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  31. I agree with everyone it is frustrating buying toilet paper in the super sized packages. My bathroom has a ceramic holder. Charmin did send me their extender, but unfortunately it does not work with my t.p. holder. With all the descriptions on the packages it is so hard to know which will fit. I have had to remove some of paper from roll to be able to install on holder.

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  32. Your post was just what I was looking for today — a good laugh about a shared frustration.My days are now filled with searching for stores that carry my sought-after double rolls of Quilted Northern (yay, Jewel-Osco!). When I can’t find that size and have to resort to Mega, my kids wind up leaving a roll of toilet paper on the floor (um, yuck…). With the width changes (narrower rolls), I’ll bet we can look forward to rolls that look like old-fashioned cash register tape!

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  33. Years ago Charmin had 500 5×5 inch sheets per roll. Four rolls cost about 89 cents.
    Now the sheets are smaller and less per roll but they increased the circumference of the cardboard roller to make the roll look fuller than it is.

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  34. I agree, flush the mega rolls and bring back the double rolls. I bought up all the double rolls I could find. Guess I will check at Trader Joe’s for double rolls. I did write to Charmin, Quilted Northern and Cottonelle. Told them my home is a residence, not a commercial building. Mega rolls don’t fit and look terrible.

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  35. Recently I received two (2) extenders for use with their Mega Rolls. They came without any writing on them, only an embossed logo that is the same white color as the spindle. The only problem I have is that they STILL do not fit into my dispensers. The spindle ends are 1/2 inch in diameter, while the holes in my dispensers are 1/4 inch in diameter. They are too big, and I cannot use them.

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  36. There is a MEGA conspiracy among the toilet paper manufacturers and my search for double rolls had to come to an end. Recently I was forced to purchase mega rolls of Charmin since Sears stopped no longer publish a Sears catalog and my other options were depleted. And of course, the new rolls don’t fit the dispenser. So I put the rolls on the back of the toilets and waited for the comments from my family. And there were many! I knew I had to do something urgently when my mother told me she was sitting on the toilet rolling toilet paper onto another empty cylinder to make smaller roles to fit the dispenser in her bathroom. So action was needed immediately to solve the dispenser issue. I did not want the advertised cheap roll dispensers that take 6 weeks to get from the manufacturer. So went on Amazon and found Teravan Standard extenders for large rolls. They were pricey at $19.95 for 2 dispensers in a pack, but worth the price if they restored family harmony. Got within 2 days and installed this weekend. If you don’t mind the price they work beautifully. I got the silver option instead of white. They blend in with the existing chrome bathroom dispenser so the modification is not an eyesore. And peace (or our family version) has been restored.

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  37. can I just say how much I HATE THEM? Are we all supposed to remodel our bathrooms to make the toilet paper companies happy?? It drives me NUTS. I have a beautiful holder that holds 4 extra rolls and they don’t fit. I have a matching and equally beautiful fixtures that include a NORMAL toilet paper holder.

    WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM??

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  38. I have 3 bathrooms,1(mine) has been remodeled and accepts easily the Mega roll. The other 2 rooms forget it. Since my wife passed away and I now do the shopping this non compliant roll thing was driving me crazy as I can’t find normal rolls anymore. So my solution, use the Mega roll in the bathroom that works and when down to normal size pull it, store it for the other 2 rooms. I too don’t want to use those ugly plastic extenders. Not the best solution but it does work for me.

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  39. I can see this post is still mighty relevant. Thank you Eliza. I was stuck with a huge package of mega rolls from Costco when I discovered the problem. No way they fit into the 1940 built-in TP holder. I even bought a chrome TP stand to store and dispense rolls and the rolls didn’t fit in that either. So now I search for smaller rolls. The only brand I can find at Costco that is small shreds like crazy and everyone hates it. The only solution with the mega rolls is to put them on the back of the tank and try to use up about a quarter of the paper, THEN install it. Or throw away the outer layers. Great economy, right? I even had my entire bathroom remodeled last year and am STILL dealing with this issue, can you believe it? I was excited to order a somewhat glamorous chrome safety grip that doubled as a TP holder. (Yes, sneaking in the elder aids even though I’m not elderly YET). And even THAT was too small. Can’t believe the manufacturers are still trying to pawn off their fancy safety bars (leftover stock?) that DON’T EVEN WORK with today’s rolls. I had to spend $25,000 to find this out? Pardon me for my ignorance, but what is a double roll? Something bigger than a standard roll but not as a big as a mega roll?

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  40. Hilarious post! Very true. I read it while doing my business (don’t worry, I always wipe my phone with a disinfecting wipe afterwards). I was rotflmao while reading it!! Thank you for this.

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  41. Target only has mega rolls and we live in a 1956 house, so our toilet paper holder is only so big. So the roll sits on the counter until we have used enough if it and then it goes on the holder. I don’t like it. I see a trip to menards or Home Depot in my future to see what is available. I’m not sure I want a branded extender.

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  42. Ugh, I just came back from going out to several stores in search of even a triple roll….no luck. Every single roll of toilet paper in each of the big box stores I went into was a MEGA-MEGA-MEGA roll. Seriously, how many people have these huge toilet roll holders in their homes? I HATE it.

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  43. Hate it hate it hate it.
    Now looking for new toilet paper holders, the ones we bought were expensive (nice wooden looking and copper looking). Let’s create an online petition. You are amazing.

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  44. Eliza,

    My sister and I laughed till we had tears in our eyes. Your letter was so hilarious, it was just what I needed. But I am also upset at the change to mega rolls. The extender does not fit my current holder. I wish they would bring back the regular size. I have a built in holder and a holder that is on the side of the vanity. I can not remove the one on the vanity without damage. I might have to purchase a stand type holder. Not happy.

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  45. I actually found your site while googling “I hate mega and super mega toilet paper rolls” to find out if there was a support group for Mega Roll Haters like me. I did this shortly after going to Amazon to see if I could order Double Rolls in bulk since I had already been to a dozen stores and none of them had anything smaller than the Mega size. I think it is a plot by the manufacturers to get us to use more toilet paper, because I find myself using more and more just so I can get the roll smaller so it will fit on my holder. I am relieved to know there are others out there that feel the loathing for these enormous rolls of toilet paper that are the circumference of a roll of paper towel.

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  46. I have cats, so the use of a regular toilet holder went out years ago. In it’s place I got a couple of pretty toilet paper boxes to put them in. When we went to double wide I was still ok and then some. When they came out with the Mega rolls they would not fit in the box. So about the 3-4 uses the roll is in a see thru bagee, and then I can go back to my safe, decorator boxes. I’ve tried a couple of times to find a box that will accommodate the mega rolls. When I get back from my grocery shopping trip today, I’ll try again. This is cruel and unusual punishment to not provide a fix for something as simple as a toilet paper holder. Now we sort of have a fix but look how long it took. To the toilet paper people, BAH HUMBUG. May you find a similar crummy problem of your own in your Christmas stocking and anywhere else it will go.

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  47. Thank you Eliza!

    Every time I purchased toilet paper I got irritated. I wanted smaller rolls, but cushy paper to fit my 1940’s recessed toilet paper holder. Thanks to you, my daily life is better. How many people can say that?

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  48. I feel better that I’m not the only one with this problem. The smallest rolls I can find anywhere are MEGA and beyond. Double rolls are perfect (if not just a little snug at first) for my toilet paper holders and I figured I would get around the issue by buying them online. So, I ordered 48 double rolls (probably at least a year’s supply for a single guy). The supplier, in all their wisdom, decided to send me 32 JUMBO rolls!!! On a positive note, this actually amounted to about 800 more sheets of toilet paper than I ordered (at the same price), but… ARGH! So, I guess I will be forced to look out for one of these extenders as well (hopefully, they make extenders that are big enough for JUMBO!).

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  49. 100% agree with you – GREAT blog. We’re looking for a new dispenser for our remodeled bathroom, and realize this has to be a consideration. People DO realize, don’t they, that this is all about cost savings for the manufacturer, and NOTHING to do with consumer convenience??? The extender detracts from the look of recessed tp holders. I’m hoping I can find one that is actually BUILT to accommodate the HUGE, INCONVENIENT MEGA rolls!

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  50. I could make a longer and valid rant. But I will just say I hate it and hate them for pushing it as only option, can’t find jumbo rolls. The extenders are shitty mod to try to address a problem THEY CREATED. They are a shitty, weaker mod to permanent built in holders. The extenders are likely to break given their geometry. They don’t hold the roll in the center of what is often a curved back to the holder, so it rubs on the bottom edge.

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  51. I think I found a solution for our house. One bathroom has a dispenser that mega rolls fit on, the other bathroom doesn’t. I use the mega room until the roll gets down to a manageable size, then move it to the smaller dispenser and install a new mega on the super dispenser. The wife uses the smaller room. Now we just have to use at similar rates…

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  52. What’s wrong with all of you?? I buy Scott, 1000 sheets per roll. It’s always the cheapest if you consider the ‘unit price.” It’s got 1,000 sheets and is smaller than those other Mega ones.

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  53. I am wondering if anyone feels the same way with the great toilet paper shortage of 2020? Personally I put the rolls on the top of the toilet and use it until it fit in the holder and then put a new roll on the top of the toilet in case my primary roll runs out at an inopportune time, and I must say that it was a little annoying, however it was only for a few days or maybe a week while I am waiting for it to fit in the holder.

    Now, I am just thrilled to have toilet paper!! So basically the small amount that I cared before has not completely been withdrawn to a mute point. As a matter of fact, I think that after this, I am considering getting the Charmin forever roll (which I laughed and scoffed at at first) delivered to my house once a month to see if that saves me a few bucks. Either way, I am glad that you made me smile while I am social-distancing at home without much to do other than watch the world poker tour and surf amazon for toilet paper, paper towels, hand sanitizer, and clorox disinfecting wipes waiting for all this to end.

    Stay healthy (which I guess has become the new take care).

    Kevin

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  54. I want a free or low price roll extender, many used to sell them cheap or even free and now there is only one choice online and they get really bad reviews. Why can’t Bed Bath and Beyond design a nice wall mounted toilet paper holder that can hold these Jumbo for bumhole paper mountain of a roll. Charmin, Cottonelle, and others use to offer them for free or cheap but not anymore. Those work and I’m willing to pay for them, why don’t they supply them???

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  55. I had luck getting double rolls at Home Depot for a long time when I couldn’t find them elsewhere, but then last fall i saw a stack of them on an endcap marked “clearance”. I panicked and bought 8 30-packs. Still had 2 left when the COVID shortage hit. Guess this mega roll issue had some value.

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  56. Eliza, you bring tears to my eyes
    Now that most of the tp companies are pushing the Mega roll marketing scam, I wish one of them would listen to us. Imagine if one of the companies came out with a wider 2 ply standard diameter and packaged it with big letters GUARANTEED TO FIT YOUR HOLDER. I’l bet the Megas would stay on the shelf.

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  57. I have had TP dilemmas for some time now, and I decided to act a few years ago.

    I live in a downtown metro, in a 1950 1-bedroom. I hardly have the space for one 4-pack of regular TP, no less a 6-pack of mega rolls. Years before, I bought a TP stand to put the spare rolls on because I needed the space opened up in my bathroom storage, but bought the one with no dispenser because I find the idea of tugging at TP from a randomly placed TP tower to be unseemly. Anyway, I really dislike mega rolls because I was perfectly happy with the Cottonelle regular size rolls in the 4-pack, but for some reason, all the downtown stores had caught the mega-roll bug so I’m often screwed unless I want to buy a stupid 12-pack.

    About 2 years ago, I decided that my dependence on big TP needed to cease. I ordered myself a $30 bidet on Amazon, and while it’s a little ugly, I haven’t thought once of looking back.

    It’s embarrassing to admit, but for a person who considered himself one to keep a tidy posterior, I now recognize that no TP really gets you clean. I was dismayed at my 30+ years of lacking cleanliness, but looked forward to a life of ultimate clean.

    I still use a little TP to dry up, but during recent events, I felt like a king among peasants. As the masses stormed TP proprietors, I had bought my bi-yearly 6-pack the previous November and equipped with my depression-era grandmother’s wisdom of TP rationing, I lasted through the pandemic with rolls to spare (no joke — my grandma would give us four squares of gratingly tough TP as kids, only when we were going number two)!

    JOIN THE REVOLUTION! VIVA LA BIDET!

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  58. I landed on your post because I am remodeling a bathroom and I want to buy a toilet paper holder that will HOLD these jumbo rolls! There’s no way to tell if it will! I greatly enjoyed your post. It brought me lots of smiles!

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  59. Can’t stand them. Try to find double rolls all over the place, with not much success. My toilet paper storage tins that hold 3 rolls and match my trash cans and faucets will not hold the mega rolls. If you get them to squeeze in, they are super hard to get out. Please bring back the double rolls!

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  60. OMG I thought I was the only crazy one out there looking for double rolls of TP! Just moved into a 5 yr old home and have small ceramic TP holders. REALLY? I have tried the extenders to no avail. Searched high and low and today ran into this blog. LOL! I feel much better now that I’m not alone. Can’t wait to tell the hubby it’s NOT JUST ME!!!! Thanks for the smiles!

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  61. The Super Mega Rolls would fit if the cardboard core was reduced to bearly larger than your holder core. It would be a very easy solution.

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  62. This blog post had me busting a gut with laughter. I haven’t laughed this much all week–thank you! For the record, I hate the mega rolls as well.

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  63. Hilarious!!! Just what I needed after reading the New York Times articles today, Jan. 9, 2021. Like many of the others who have responded to your blog we have an 85 year old house with a built in holder (ceramic with a wooden rod). Small bathroom, extender probably wouldn’t attach and if it did roll of paper would be on your thighs as you sit on the throne. Found tp on Amazon that fits but it is thin and you have to use an extraordinary amount – not good. Aldi also has smaller rolls but not so hot quality wise. What to do, what to do??? The really BIG news is that Charmin is now offering the FOREVER roll complete with a special stand to hold it. The roll weights 2 pounds and hopefully won’t tip over and break your foot. Ugly, oh yeah. No, this is not the answer folks. Bigger is not better. We may have to move. Stay well!

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  64. It’s currently 2am in the year 2021. A commercial advertising a 6x size roll came on. That led me down an insomnia fueled rabbit hole that landed here. I can’t believe we *still* haven’t been able to convince TP makers that this Extra Grande Jumbo Mega sized nonsense is just that, nonsense. Give us back the double roll!

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  65. I am simply delighted that IT’S NOT JUST ME!!! I loathe the new size and REFUSE to pay $10 for an extended that though not white plastic, still tries to “steal the show”. I just want my “double roll” back! Is that too much to ask?!!

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  66. I ordered the free extenders offered by Charmin and received them in less than a week. Unfortunately, they won’t work on our 20-year-old ceramic toilet paper holders (ends are too large to fit). However, I give them credit for trying to solve an exasperating problem free of charge. Maybe they work with the metal paper holders. I’ll try to find a friend who can use them. Regardless I give them credit for trying. BTW, while I can still find the double rolls, they have proved to be much more expensive.

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  67. Thank you for this!!! I was just about to buy a whole new system for out tp and then thought- let me see if anyone has come up with a way to fix this large roll problem. I’m going to order it in secret of my partner and shock him when it’s all of a sudden working.

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