12 Days of Holiday Stuff

Snowman cookie jar

It’s the hap-happiest season of all, which means that retailers are loaded up with all manner of holiday-themed items designed to tempt us into thinking we need more.

Years ago I used to trick out every inch of our home in Christmasy frippery. The turning point came one year when I hung the red (“launder separately”) holiday towels in the bathroom. They weren’t as fluffy as our regular towels, and they were embellished with large, embroidered Christmas trees which were decidedly un-absorbent. Someone voiced a complaint, and I suddenly experienced a bracing rush of clarity. What was I doing? What was so festive about decorating with… towels?

Back by popular demand, I’m happy to present the 2015 collection of 12 holiday-themed items we probably don’t need. I can only smile at these items because I was once susceptible to buying stuff and over-decorating. Let’s begin with the slightly dazed, cardinal perching snowman head cookie jar above with the nose painted like Halloween candy corn. What are those two round objects at his neck? Acorns? Rocky Mountain Oysters? I’m so confused.

Next up, the jauntiest of johns…

Christmas bathroom set

 

These bathroom sets ensure that no festoon-able area of your commode is left untouched. Why does Father Christmas look so glum, you ask? One can only imagine his inner thoughts as visitors approach.

No holiday bathroom is complete without…

snowman soap dispenser

 

…a rotund, golden-haired snowman soap dispenser. This jolly fellow would go great with our red embroidered Christmas tree towels. Can’t you just feel the special magic of the season?

Of course, our dear pets deserve holiday-themed items, too. You’re not going to settle for a plain box of dog biscuits, this holiday season, are you? When you can decorate with fur-topped, toe-smashed, treat-filled boots?

holiday dog treats

 

While we’re on the subject of pets, has yours been Naughty this year? Or Nice? This special coffee cup will help you (and Santa) keep track.

Santa's Doggie List cup

 

It’s not easy being Santa these days, what with his face adorning toilet seat covers and him having to make doggie lists in addition to all his other responsibilities.

That’s why our friend St. Nick may have stopped at his favorite Colorado “herb” patch before posing for this Santa tea pot:

Santa tea pot

 

It just wouldn’t feel like Christmas if we couldn’t wipe our shoes on Santa’s jolly, beady-eyed likeness:

Santa throw rug

 

Not festive enough for you? How about resting a dirty cooking spoon on Santa’s snowy white beard?

Santa spoon rest

 

If those weird reindeer noises up on the roof make you feel a little uneasy at night, you can simply plug in one of these super-relaxing flashing Christmas tree night lights:

Christmas tree night light

 

Sequined pillows add a jolly, if somewhat scratchy, touch to your sofa:

sequined throw pillows

 

You’re not using old school stainless kitchen bowls, are you? Because nothing says “Christmas” like snowflake kitchen bowls! Nothing, I tell you.

snowflake bowls

 

Finally, when you want the very aroma of Christmas to permeate your home, be sure to stock your bathroom with festive holiday air freshener — illustrated with our rosy-cheeked Christmas hero Kris Kringle.

Why are Santa’s cheeks so red? Why is he struggling to see out of his one bloodshot eye? He may have stopped at the Cherry Cricket for a little nip or two, and the nice police officer might have just asked him to try and touch his nose.

holiday air freshener

How about you? Have you discovered any unique holiday items we should add to this collection? Are you successfully avoiding the temptation to buy more holiday stuff?

Whether you wipe your hands on Christmas towels or not, I hope you’re enjoying a happy, simple, special holiday season.

Hugs,

The signature for Eliza Cross

 

About Eliza Cross

Eliza Cross is a full-time writer and the author of a dozen books about food and home design. She has been blogging about simplicity and sustainable living since 2006.

8 comments to 12 Days of Holiday Stuff

  • Betty Crosslen

    I am wiping the tears from my eyes before reading this again for more giggles; you have the best sense of humor in addition to nailing the lunacy of our ways of celebrating the season.

  • My, oh my!

    A dear friend of mine from high school was in town over Thanksgiving. Long story, but they’re moving her mother into a retirement home, so she and her brothers were tasked with cleaning out the 5500 square foot house which was apparently quite overwhelming.

    Anyhow, I went to meet her at her brother’s house – I walked in and there was a pile of boxes at least 10 ft long, 10 ft. wide, and 10 ft. high. I made some comment about having to go through all those boxes and my friend looks at me and says… “No, no… you don’t understand. This is just the Christmas decorations!”

    Holy Moly! At least that’s one trap I never really fell into. I do find it hilarious that my atheist step-mother still can’t bring herself to part with any of her precious Christmas decorations (which she calls “Winter Solstice Decorations.”) Hopefully when we move her and my dad into a retirement home, there will be fewer than a 10 x 10 x 10 foot cube of them though!

    • Oh my goodness, that pile of boxes is bigger than my first apartment. Where do you even begin to whittle a collection of that size?

      You have always had more sense than most of us, ECL. I hope you and the kitties and CatMan are enjoying the season and doing well. xo

  • Lisa

    Oh my gosh! I had the snowman soap dispenser! It sure didn’t last long before it broke though. I had so many items I would actually change all the curtains in the kitchen and bathroom, remove all the blue and white kitchen items and replace with red and green, etc etc. Thankfully I quite that years ago and now we only have a couple of boxes that I keep culling each year. Thanks for the memories!

    • Oh Lisa, that’s so funny and I am in awe of your Christmas curtains. I bet you’re so glad you don’t have to do that any more. Good for you for simplifying down to a few boxes, and I hope you and your family have a wonderful holiday season. xo

  • You’re so right, Lois. I can laugh now, but I used to have 16 bins of holiday stuff in the garage. We still have a lot of Christmas ornaments, but I remind myself that simplifying is a process. I always admire your warm, uncluttered home and simpler lifestyle. You inspire me and many others! xoxo

  • These things are ridiculous aren’t they? I hate seeing all the junk that fills store shelves this time of year and wonder who actually buys this stuff. No wonder people need storage units to hold all their excess household items.

    Thanks for the chuckles.

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